cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
