How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
