are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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