i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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