my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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