i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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