just come out here and I will go home with you...
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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