on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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