Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
