So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
