woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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