Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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