things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
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