As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That accounts for only three of the penises
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
