do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
