Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?

  (1-508): View more from Massachusetts

  you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation? (1-508): you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets. http://tfl.nu/hqfn
  Replies (97) Good night (40691) Bad night (1667)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.

  (425): View more from Washington

  i'm in love

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15. (425): i'm in love http://tfl.nu/ppcv
  Replies (23) Good night (1089) Bad night (3242)
• Favorite

  (806): View more from Texas

  apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (806): apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom http://tfl.nu/lh1h
  Replies (11) Good night (1288) Bad night (3371)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell. http://tfl.nu/ey83
  Replies (24) Good night (3453) Bad night (2680)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Toronto

  Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes. http://tfl.nu/qzyp
  Replies (12) Good night (920) Bad night (3811)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (727): I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights. http://tfl.nu/lg7e
  Replies (26) Good night (969) Bad night (10234)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono http://tfl.nu/0ij8
  Replies (32) Good night (5259) Bad night (756)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me? http://tfl.nu/7eei
  Replies (26) Good night (6870) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop. http://tfl.nu/jwrv
  Replies (18) Good night (4634) Bad night (904)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower. http://tfl.nu/bnhm
  Replies (10) Good night (3756) Bad night (1027)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (902): you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had http://tfl.nu/lpp3
  Replies (9) Good night (3363) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward. http://tfl.nu/2euk
  Replies (5) Good night (2168) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird? http://tfl.nu/uuel
  Replies (10) Good night (2340) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line http://tfl.nu/4yuv
  Replies (2) Good night (1606) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (912): I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe. http://tfl.nu/1u5h
  Replies (12) Good night (2624) Bad night (346)

Randomize