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A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
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