I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.