Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.

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  (202): I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar. http://tfl.nu/npd2
  Replies (7) Good night (2826) Bad night (708)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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  (281): I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow? http://tfl.nu/ft8k
  Replies (62) Good night (1314) Bad night (2895)
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  (516): View more from New York

  There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong

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  (516): There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong http://tfl.nu/4bke
  Replies (136) Good night (4203) Bad night (792)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.

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  (732): I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning. http://tfl.nu/m9jy
  Replies (13) Good night (5134) Bad night (798)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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  (978): Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially. http://tfl.nu/gw0l
  Replies (24) Good night (9287) Bad night (810)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone

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  (574): i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone http://tfl.nu/gkfm
  Replies (12) Good night (1608) Bad night (4310)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

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  (403): I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass http://tfl.nu/mda2
  Replies (17) Good night (3127) Bad night (2647)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty

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  (970): Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty http://tfl.nu/gq3b
  Replies (9) Good night (4126) Bad night (1018)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.

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  (256): I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you. http://tfl.nu/8mod
  Replies (12) Good night (3769) Bad night (1155)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.

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  (403): Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one. http://tfl.nu/ek2z
  Replies (15) Good night (3076) Bad night (766)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.

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  (479): I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober. http://tfl.nu/132v
  Replies (4) Good night (1579) Bad night (695)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there

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  (856): the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there http://tfl.nu/b4jk
  Replies (4) Good night (847) Bad night (1224)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.

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  (303): Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids. http://tfl.nu/27z2
  Replies (4) Good night (1462) Bad night (544)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.

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  (407): I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so. http://tfl.nu/va18
  Replies (6) Good night (960) Bad night (547)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?

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  (404): He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind? http://tfl.nu/kg6f
  Replies (9) Good night (1012) Bad night (402)

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