I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
