Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
