I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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