The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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