If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
