If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
