No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
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But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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