that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Your cock deserves a montage
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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