Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
