butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
