How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
