I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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