I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
