Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
