I'm lost and stupid without you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Who did Billy Mays play for?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
