wat bout pragnant strippers??
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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