I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
