dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
