we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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