sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
