I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Randomize
