if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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