Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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