Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
