He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
