So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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