I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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