im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
