So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my sisters under your porch take her home
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
