She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
