I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
