Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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