sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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