did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
