I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
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