Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
