me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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