I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Randomize
