Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
