I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
