What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
