Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
