Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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