Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
