Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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