is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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