He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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