can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
