So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
